Families and Stuff
by brlittleforw
Summary: What if all of them were just a big loud family? This is a AU crack fic! It includes SQ.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a really crazy mind...**

**Description: All of them are a big loud family. AU. SQ.**

**A/N: They said so many times that it was a series about family and that stuff that I thought at the most twisted place of my mind about how would it be if they happened to actually be a big loud family. As for the ages and stuff I tried to picture MM, David and others (people that would be around their ages on FTL except for Regina) a bit older than they are in Once but if it just don't work for you I didn't really added anything that would be relevant on that. So you can imagine them older or as the same age as Emma. This was made just, and**_**only**_**, for the**_**fun**_**. So try not to take it**_**any**_**seriously, please!**

* * *

"Babe, I'm home!" Emma screamed. It had been a exhaustive day at the station and she just wanted to get home to her wife. But all she got home to was a loud mess of people screaming at each other. She just took a deep breath and closed her eyes to see if patience reached her but they were quickly wide when the door was opened and, as she was standing close it, hit her back making her lose her balance and almost falling. When the blonde turned to look she saw Henry and Paige running inside.

"How many times have we told you not to run inside the house?!" She yelled at them making their race stop.

"Sorry." Both kids said together.

She shook her head and headed to the living room where the loud voices seemed to be having an argument.

"That's cheating!" Mary Margaret said pointing at Ruby.

"Of course it isn't! It's on the rules." The young brunette defended her self.

"Oh, really?! Where?" MM asked crossing her arms.

"No talking... But no one said I couldn't point at objects with letters!"

"What the hell is happening here, people?!" Emma said making everyone focusing on her.

"Seems like Ruby's cheating again." Archie said. He wasn't at the whole fuss but sat there and watched it with Pongo.

"Like always!" Sean said.

"Yeah!" All the other's agreed. And the whole thing started again.

"She's not cheating." Belle defended her friend.

"Thank God we have someone sane here! It's not my fault that you're all lazy and can't keep up with me on any game!"

"Oh shut up! We all know she's only defending you because she's on your team this time." Ashley said as she sat beside Sean on the couch.

"Come on, guys! Since when being clever is cheating?!" August was the one defending Ruby this time.

"Since you have to _mimic_ it. Not _point_ it!"

"Did you just called us lazy?!" Mary Margaret said with one hand dramatically on her chest.

"You only got it now so I must be right!"

"Ooooooh... Snap!" David said giggling with a hand on his mouth.

Mary turned to him. "OH, shut up David! That included you!" The put himself together as quick as a blink of an eye and his with was back to the discussion.

Emma tried but as their discussion wasn't ending so soon she just turned to Archie. "Where's my wife anyways?"

She didn't have to wait much because Regina was coming down in a bathrobe all wet and shampoo on her hair.

Before the woman could say anything Marco entered the room saying, "I had to turn the water off so I can fix the plumber issue. I hope that didn't disturb anyone."

Regina was mad. Really mad. "Did you plan on doing it right after the shampoo got to my eyes, Marco?" Regina said with sarcasm.

"Oh..."

_"Oh,_ indeed." She crossed her arms.

"I'll just..." He swallowed hard. "Turn it on."

Emma looked at the woman for a moment before she approached her. "Hey you..." She said checking the brunette out with some dirty going on her mind.

Regina looked at the blonde from head to toe made a scorn face. "Hi." It was the only thing she spoke before turning back upstairs.

Emma followed her. "Why are you still mad at me?" Silence. "It wasn't my fault..."

"There's it still a whole in my bedroom wall."

"_Our_ bedroom. And it's only because you don't let me fix it."

"It's there to remind you that when you say you'll watch the children, you should _actually _watch the children." And the bathroom door was closed on the blonde's face.

"I don't deserve this." She whispered to herself.

"YES, YOU DO."

* * *

_*Flashback*_

A few days ago Emma was in charge of taking care of the children while Regina made them food. Henry invited some of his other friends home. So this time aside from Paige, that was always around, Nicholas and Ava would be joining them too.

But what the blonde didn't expected was that as she was gone to the bathroom for only a minute they'd all disappear and for her misery they'd be making a fuss in her bedroom. When the door opened Henry and Nicholas had a hat stand each pushing it from a side. "What are you doing?!" She said horrified. Regina would kill here for that.

Just to get things worst Henry let go off the hat stand and Nicholas could do nothing while the thing hit and pierced the wall.

_*End of Flashback*_

* * *

As Regina was yet making her suffer and the others were in point of killing each other at the living room she decided to go outside.

It was one cold day but not the coldest as this week they were officially at spring things were starting to worm. Everything was a mix of white and green at the garden. She looked to the bench close to the yard and there was Granny knitting like she always did on Sundays. "Hey, Granny..." The blonde said sitting by the woman's side.

"Hello, Emma." She said briefly looking at the young woman and then back to her knitting.

"How is the day going?"

"Oh, the usual just me and my needles. What about you?"

"Just the usual... People fighting and Regina having me grounded."

"Is your father defending your honor again?" The older woman asked with a giggle.

"Oh, no!" Emma said with a sigh. "Pour August had a piece of his mind already. And thank God we're just over that."

* * *

_*Flashback*_

It was his first day in town and he was going to live with his father and some, or more like all, his relatives. August had just arrived home and was ready to enter the porch when someone called his attention. A blonde woman was climbing a tree. When he saw the skinny jeans his eyes went wide open.

"That ass..." He whispered.

David was just coming back from throwing the garbage out and stopped behind the man that was looking at his daughter at the tree. He didn't expected to heat such words but as he did. "What did you just say about my daughter?" David asked. He had a killing glare and a ridiculous outfit.

_"Me?_ Nothing!" He tried.

But the man just stood there with his white apron and took a spoon out of the font pocket looking like a killer. "You better run." He said seriously.

"It's only a spoon..." August said not caring.

"Oh... I can do wonders with it even if I have my eyes closed. So I suggest you start to run."

The other man swallowed looking from one side to the other to find a escape. And as he seemed to be unable to find one David pointed a way and waited for him to start to move so he could start to the chase.

_*End of Flashback*_

* * *

Both women were laughing at the memory.

"I never saw someone run so fast." Emma managed to say between the laughs.

"I'm sure Grandpa would be running after that boy too..."

At that phrase Emma stood still and slowly turned to face the older woman.

Granny was a widow for a long time but every time her gone husband was quoted or something reminded her of him, the woman started to cry.

So at that moment Emma was static just waiting for it. Granny already had a face prepared to do it. The blonde was confuse she didn't know if she should hold her or if she should just let her there.

For Emma's relief the back door crushed opening making her quickly turn to see what was it.

* * *

"I SAY WE FIGHT!" David spoke firmly.

"Fighting is a bad idea, David." Sean tried to calm the other man down. "Given into her mocking won't accomplish anything."

"How many wars did stand by and do nothing have won?"

"Came on... As if we don't know that Regina will pick my side, which means I'll win it."

The woman was just going down when she heard her name. "I'll what?" She said looking at all of them waiting for an answer.

"She's not in Ruby." Mary said.

"Of course she is. That will make us four against four and it's only fair." Ruby pointed.

"See?! You're cheating again." Ashley complained.

"Cheating would be bringing Emma into the team."

"_Excuse me_! I still don't know what you're talking about." Regina stood with her arms crossed waiting for the explanation.

"We're starting a war." David said.

"YEAH!" All the other less Sean agreed.

"_War_?" The woman spoke not really getting the point.

"Volleyball war. At the garden. Now." Ruby informed.

"I said she's _not_ in." MM repeated.

"Who's cheating now?" Belle said.

"It's gonna happen anyways..." August stated.

"Is this going to piss them off?" Regina said pointing to MM and David.

"Yeah." Ruby, belle and August answered.

"I'm in."

* * *

They were on the way to the garden and starting to set everything for the game.

"Emma, get your ass here! Now!" Regina screamed making the blonde jump from the bench and run in her direction.

"What is happening?"

"War!"

Emma was just lost after that. "_War_?!"

"Yes, and you'll be our judge."

"I'll judge the _war_?" Emma said slowly, ambitiously today everyone was out of their minds.

"Yes! I trust you know volleyball rubles..."

"Yes...?" The blonde said unsure.

"Your parents challenged Ruby on a match, and as everyone else's playing except for you. So you'll have to be the judge." Regina said already leaving to her position but stopping halfway and going back to the blonde. "I might forget about that hole incident if you make sure we win." She whispered to her wife and now went to take her position.

Emma stood still with a shocked expression. "Emma, are you going to be our judge?"Her father asked from taking his place to start the game.

"Of course!"

* * *

As any other game this one didn't last long and soon a fight started. After all was settled down they went inside to prepare for dinner.

All was set up to the meal and all of them were already in place when Regina noticed some of them were missing.

"Where's Henry and Paige?"

"It wasn't my turn..." Emma stated just to make it clear.

"They were with Archie." Belle said.

"Wasn't Jefferson passing by at five to pick her up?" August asked.

The screams were heard coming from the living room.

"MOM HELP!"

Regina was immediately out to see what her son was screaming about.

"Henry?!"

She was walking in the room but couldn't see anything before the dog jumped on her and brought her to de ground.

Pongo was excited about seeing her and started to do his dog thing and lick her face.

"Take it off me!" She said while trying to get away from the Dalmatian.

Archie was fast to get the dog off her when he saw the scene and the man could do nothing but apologize.

"I so sorry, Regina."

"I don't care how sorry you are, Hopper. You're paying for this!" She said while taking a hand that Emma offered to help her wife get up.

"I was only gone for one minute... I'm so sorry, I just had to go to the bathroom..."

Regina had a dangerous glare and everyone knew it so they only waited for what was surely coming.

"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE, KIDS AND BATHROOMS?!"

Nobody did anything. They just stared at the angry woman. Though it was Archie's fault this time all of them felt like they were sorry for the mess, that was Angry-Regina's effect on them.

After an uncomfortable silent moment Regina rushed out of in order to clean herself and the others just said words of comfort to the poor man.

* * *

After all that turmoil the family finally sat to eat the meal. Things were a little heavy but like always they hoped that this wouldn't last long.

Ruby tried to broke the ice and say something about the lasagna that they were eating. "Is this Regina's?" Ruby asked.

"NO! I made it." David said proudly... And bit aggressive.

Regina laughed in disdain saying, "We can see."

She knew the man was the typical househusband slash perfectionist since the first day Emma brought her home as a date.

* * *

_*flashback*_

It had been crazy. Hell crazy! Since she said "I might be dating someone". Her mother was a total freak asking who it was every five minutes they spent in the same room. And her father only had been murder threatening whoever it was. It sounded ridiculous that at her age she was afraid of bringing someone home to introduce as a boyfriend or a girlfriend to her parents. But Regina seemed okay with it so Emma only thought it would be not a big deal.

She decided to make it a surprise and not say who it was until the day. As the whole family seemed to be having a busy night there'd be time for her parents to freak out when Regina arrived without any of them having the knowledge of it.

They were both on the front door of the big Charming's house. Regina pressed her hand trying to transmit confidence to Emma. The blonde's hands were sweating.

When the door was open the house was darkened and a soft light came from the living room. They headed to there and the more they got close the chords played by a piano could be heard. And Emma automatically identified. "He. Didn't. Do. This." Emma whispered.

But, yes, he did. There was her father, sitting at an armchair with one of his aprons on, with one utensil at a hand a cloth at the other. Just cleaning the thing like he was a lord of cleaning utensils.

"This is from far the most ridiculous Godfather impression I've seen." Regina whispered to Emma.

"Please, just go with it."

* * *

So when it came to his cooking or cleaning abilities the man was a pain in the ass.

"Are you suggesting something?" She said to Regina waiting for her to develop her point.

"No, nothing. I was just saying..."

Things were heavy but now they were about to get heavier. So Emma tried to break it there before anything happened and they started another fuss. "I heard that Leroy finally is dating that nun." She received some astonished glares. "But she's not a nun anymore, guys!" She said fast.

Her mother quickly joined her at the subject. "Isn't it great... David!"

And with that the subject changed and their dinner was made in a more friendly way.

Emma sighed in relief and felt a hand upon hers on the table. She turned to look at a smiley Regina and went for a quick kiss. The moments of when they all started to live at the same house came into her mind and she joined her wife's smile.

* * *

_*Flashback*_

Emma was coming back with a camera on her hands. "Okay, buddies! This is our first night together at this house as a family so I want a picture of it."

Ruby was quickly excited about it. Some of the other complained but soon they were all around the big couch ready to take the picture. Emma went to set the camera on for automatically shoot.

"Okay that's it." She said reaching the right arm of the sofa beside Regina.

"Say cheese, everyone!" Ruby said excitedly and all the others yellowed it together.

But the camera was taking too long to finally take the shot.

"Is it on?" Henry asked between his teeth.

"I'll see what happened." Emma said and when all of them had already start to complain and the blonde had just gave the first step to fix it the damn flash went on and the photo was taken.

* * *

It wasn't the best picture of them but it was a special one. The first one. So they had it on a large frame in their living room as a remembrance.

That was their family. One they had found themselves. It wasn't small and it sure was messy. But that was still good. Yeah... Still good!

* * *

**A/N: So it's over! And I really don't know if this went good or not. There were some characters that I sure wanted to include but it would be too much for me to handle (I think). So that was just mainly for the fun, don't take it too serious, maybe one day I can make it to a longer story where I can work on their interactions with more details (like their family ties) but as that would require a time that I won't have right now it's just gonna remain as a one shot and be an idea for the future. Any comments, any suggestions, anything just send me a review! Thank you for reading! :)**


End file.
